Writing your wedding RSVP request — whether it's printed on a paper card or sent through a wedding website — is one of those small jobs that takes longer than you'd expect. Get the wording wrong and you'll be chasing down half your guest list with awkward phone calls in the weeks before the day. Get it right and most replies come back inside a fortnight.
This guide gives you copy-paste-ready RSVP wording for the most common situations, plus the small details that make people actually reply.
The basic ingredients
Every good wedding RSVP includes:
- A clear request to reply — the words "RSVP" or "Please reply" up front
- A deadline — without one, replies trickle in until the day before. Six weeks before the wedding is the classic deadline.
- How to reply — whether that's a website link, a postal address, or a phone number
- What to confirm — attending or not, plus any extras (meal choice, dietary requirements, song requests, plus-ones)
Traditional formal wording
The favour of your reply is requested by the [date]
to [name & address] / [website URL]
This is the classic wording for a printed card. Polite, restrained, expects a written reply. Best for traditional / black-tie weddings.
Modern friendly wording
Please RSVP by [date] at [website URL]
This is the modern equivalent. Direct, single sentence, points to a website where guests reply with a few clicks. Best for most modern weddings.
Warm + personal wording
We can't wait to celebrate with you. Please let us know by [date] whether you'll be joining us — just visit [URL] and follow the instructions.
For couples who want their stationery to sound like them rather than a Victorian instruction manual.
For website-based RSVPs (now the norm)
If you're using a wedding website (which most couples now do, for good reason — chasing replies on paper is a part-time job), the RSVP wording on the printed save-the-date or invitation should be very short. Just enough to point people at the website.
RSVP at [URL] by [date]
That's it. The website itself does the heavy lifting — collecting names, plus-ones, meal choices, dietaries, song requests, transport needs, anything else you want to know.
Handling plus-ones
The trickiest bit of RSVP wording is plus-ones. The clearest approach: address the invitation only to the people you actually want to come. If the envelope says "Sarah Johnson" only, no plus-one is implied. If it says "Sarah Johnson and Guest", there is.
If using a wedding website, you can be even more explicit: each guest sees their own personalised invitation page that lists exactly who's invited, by name. Removes all ambiguity.
Asking about meal choices
Please indicate your meal preference: chicken, fish, or vegetarian.
Any allergies or dietary requirements? [text box]
Modern couples increasingly skip the "pick a meal" question and serve a single menu (with a vegan/vegetarian alternative for those who need it). That's fine. The dietary-requirements question still matters — you do not want to find out about your friend's nut allergy on the day.
Setting a sensible deadline
The standard deadline is 4-6 weeks before the wedding. Reasoning:
- Your venue/caterer typically wants final numbers 2-3 weeks before
- You want a buffer to chase non-responders
- Place cards, table plans and seating charts take a week or two of your own time
If you set the deadline too early (say 8 weeks out), people forget. If you set it too late (2 weeks out), you'll be doing seating plans the night before. Six weeks is the sweet spot.
What to do when people don't reply
Reality: 15-25% of guests will not RSVP by the deadline. They're not being rude (mostly). They're busy. Three options:
- Send a chase message at the deadline + 3 days. A polite text or email: "Hi! Just doing a final headcount — could you let me know by Friday whether you'll make it on the [date]?"
- Use the website's built-in chase tool if you have one. Most wedding-RSVP platforms (including ourbigwedding.day) have a one-click "remind everyone who hasn't replied" feature. Saves you writing fifty texts.
- Mark them as "no" silently if they still don't reply by deadline + 1 week. They'll either show up or they won't — better that than chasing for a month.
Dietary & accessibility wording
Modern best practice is to ask the question once on the RSVP rather than make people email you separately:
Do you have any dietary requirements or food allergies we should know about? (vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free, nut allergy, etc.)
[text box]
Do you have any accessibility needs we should know about? (step-free access, sign language, dietary aid, etc.)
[text box]
Open text boxes work better than tickboxes — people often have requirements you wouldn't think to list.
Song requests, kids, transport
If you've got the option of asking, ask. People love being asked. Suggested wording for the website:
Song request for the DJ?
We'd love to know what'll get you on the dance floor. [text box]
Are you bringing children?
Yes, [number]. (We have a kids' menu and craft table.) / No.
Do you need transport?
Yes, from [hotel] / No, making my own way / Tell me more
One last thing
Whatever wording you use, remember that the best RSVP request is the one that's easy to reply to. If your guest has to find a stamp, write a sentence on a card and post it, you'll get fewer replies than if they tap a link on their phone and pick a name from a list. Modern wedding-website platforms turn the whole exercise into a 30-second job for each guest, which is why most couples now use one.
If you're considering one, that's exactly what ourbigwedding.day exists to do.